Sexual disgust: why your brain can switch off sexual arousal

The second part of our talk with Vera explores sexual disgust, explaining how disgust, pain and past experiences can influence sexual arousal and intimacy.

Why can one person find something exciting while another immediately recoils? In the fifth episode of this season of Local Sex Shop, hosts Mikaella and Maja continue their conversation with clinical psychology master’s student Vera, this time focusing on the relationship between sexual disgust and sexual arousal.

Building on the previous episode about sexual arousal, Vera explains that sexual disgust and arousal are largely incompatible processes. When someone feels disgusted during intimacy, whether because of bodily fluids, pain or negative expectations, sexual arousal is likely to decrease. The opposite also appears to be true: when people are sexually aroused, they become more willing to approach things they might otherwise avoid.

The discussion is based partly on research by psychologist Charmaine Borg, whose work explores how disgust influences sexual functioning. Studies suggest that participants who were first sexually aroused became more willing to complete tasks involving stimuli they had previously considered unpleasant, highlighting how arousal can temporarily reduce feelings of disgust.

The hosts also discuss how learning and experience shape these responses. A single negative experience is unlikely to change someone’s sexual functioning, but repeated experiences involving pain, fear or disgust may create lasting expectations. Those expectations can then affect future intimacy, making it more difficult to become aroused or enjoy sex.

Interestingly, the episode also highlights that disgust is highly personal. While bodily fluids such as sweat, saliva or urine may provoke disgust in some people, they can be sexually exciting for others. Rather than judging individual preferences, the hosts stress that consensual sexuality exists on a broad spectrum and that there is no universal definition of what people should find attractive.

The conversation then turns to conditions such as vaginismus. Vera explains that pain, disgust and anticipation can reinforce one another, creating a cycle in which someone begins to avoid intimacy because they expect another negative experience. Breaking that cycle often involves psychological treatment focused on reducing avoidance and gradually rebuilding positive experiences.

Beyond therapy, the hosts argue that communication and education are equally important. Understanding your own body, recognising what feels pleasurable and being able to communicate boundaries with a partner can all contribute to healthier sexual experiences. They also emphasise that partners should be willing to listen without taking feedback personally, allowing intimacy to become a shared learning process rather than a performance.

As recommendations, the hosts encourage listeners to explore reliable sources of sex education instead of relying on mainstream pornography. Vera highlights the Dutch sexual health platform Sense, while Mikaella and Maja recommend Pornland and The Body Keeps the Score for readers interested in sexuality, trauma and healthy intimacy.

Episode five concludes by reminding listeners that sexual wellbeing is not simply instinctive. Understanding sexual disgust, learning about your own responses and openly communicating with a partner can all play an important role in creating healthier and more enjoyable sexual experiences.