Suddenly, you’re expecting a baby… what do you do with your studies?

A baby! Hanze-student Tim became a father, Julia a mother. What do you do with your studies when life suddenly changes? Julia switched to part-time study, while Tim left university altogether. ‘It felt like I had to choose.’

‘When my girlfriend found out she was pregnant, university immediately went out the window. The only thing I could think about was: we need a house, we need to get everything ready for our child.’ When Tim Stenekes (22) learned he was going to become a father, he decided to leave his Real Estate Management degree.

‘My first thought? Mainly stress. Suddenly we had to find somewhere to live, buy everything we needed and think about our future.’ Tim, who was in his first year at the time, quickly realised that combining university with fatherhood would be difficult. ‘It felt like I had to make a choice. How do you give your degree the attention it needs when you’re also trying to organise everything for your family?’

Becoming a parent doesn’t automatically mean the end of student life

Tim is not the only student struggling to combine parenthood with higher education. Student parents are a small and largely invisible group within universities and universities of applied sciences. Research by the Dutch Ministry of Education shows that students with childcare responsibilities are more likely to experience study delays and financial pressure than other students. At the same time, becoming a parent does not automatically mean the end of your student life. There are ways to complete a degree successfully. Student parents can study flexibly, make use of support schemes or temporarily adapt the way they study.

‘It’s all about planning well and making clear agreements with myself’

‘My first thought was: this is going to be a challenge,’ says Julia Staal (24). ‘Life was about to become twice as busy, so I switched to part-time study almost immediately. That way I can also work 24 hours a week.’ Julia is determined to become a nurse. ‘You can’t get there with only a secondary school diploma, so I wanted to continue studying.’ It isn’t easy. ‘Everything revolves around planning. Working on group assignments is difficult when you have a child at home. I have to stick to my schedule, otherwise it simply doesn’t work.’

When working with classmates, Julia makes clear arrangements from the start. ‘I’ve just finished my dissertation. I wrote it together with a full-time student, and you really notice that you have to adapt. For me, it only works if I’m very clear: these are the hours I’ll spend on university work, and this is when everything has to be finished. I can’t still be working at eleven o’clock at night.’

‘My student adviser couldn’t really help. He just stressed that I needed to work harder’

While Julia found a structure that worked for her, Tim struggled with stress and uncertainty. ‘When something like this happens, you develop tunnel vision. All I could think was: this needs sorting out. I have a family to look after. In that situation you don’t really think about other options.’ Looking back, he now sees his decision differently. ‘Maybe it would have been wiser to put my studies on hold for a while. But at the time I didn’t really see that as an option.’

Things might have been different if there had been more targeted support within his programme. ‘My student adviser mainly emphasised that I needed to work harder. That if I didn’t put in more effort, I wouldn’t pass the year. I explained why I’d missed classes and what was going on in my life. It became clear they couldn’t really do much with that.’

That conversation became a turning point. ‘It felt a bit like: good luck with it. I thought, if things aren’t going well at university and there’s already so much stress at home, I might as well stop.’

‘If I don’t know when my classes are, I can’t arrange childcare’

Julia’s experiences with student support have not always been positive either. ‘My study route isn’t always clear. I’ve been trying for two years to find out exactly which modules I still need to complete and which ones I don’t. Everything that needs arranging takes a long time,’ she says. ‘I miss having short lines of communication that actually help you get things sorted. I’m often referred to someone else, and it can take weeks before anything is resolved.’

That has a direct impact on life at home. ‘If I don’t know when my classes are, I can’t arrange childcare either. That makes planning really difficult.’ Tim and Julia hope there will be greater understanding for students who become parents. ‘You’re constantly “on”,’ says Tim. ‘You can’t stay out until three in the morning anymore because you have to be up at six.’

‘Talk to your university and explore the options’

According to Tim, people sometimes underestimate how much parenthood affects studying. ‘You have to concentrate while there’s a crying baby next to you. Some people manage that really well. I definitely don’t.’ Julia feels the Hanze does not always take that reality into account. ‘Some minors include compulsory evening activities. When I had to attend those, I was able to arrange a babysitter, but that isn’t possible for every student.’

Their advice to other expectant student parents is simple: start the conversation. ‘Everything depends on the support you receive, so talk to your university and explore the options. Because once you’re stuck in tunnel vision, like I was, you don’t always see what the best decision is,’ says Tim. Julia believes her own choice is worth considering. ‘For me, studying part-time has been the best way to balance work, university and family life. It leaves enough time for home, and that’s incredibly important.’